Monday, February 20, 2012

First Campaigner Challenge: Shadows Crept Across...

You know who's in the picture, right? ;-)

Beginning: "Shadows crept across the wall" ✔
Ending: "everything faded" ✔
Include the word "orange" ✔
Same genre I normally write: paranormal romance ✔
Exactly 200 words ✔





Shadows crept across the wall. Beastly little things, always thinking they could scare me. “Shoo!” I said. I received nothing but a minuscule snicker in response. Fine. I’d show them. Keeping my injured foot raised, I leaned over and pulled a torch from my handbag. With a snap, I flicked the switch and brandished the torch like a lightsaber. The shadow-beings squealed in terror and scurried back to their antique jar on the mantelpiece.

“Sorry about the Shades,” said Michael, striding back into the lounge. “They’re just curious. You’re the only girl who consistently refuses to be afraid of them.” He knelt beside my chair and wrapped an orange cloth full of ice cubes around my throbbing ankle. “You know, I think that’s the first time a girl has jumped off my veranda when I’ve tried to kiss her.”

“I slipped, okay,” I said, punching his arm. “You took me by surprise.”

He laughed and leaned against the arm of the chair. “What if I warn you this time?” he asked, his voice low and husky.

“I think that would work,” I whispered.

His lips touched mine. I closed my eyes, and the shadows, the pain, the room—everything—faded.

~  ~  ~

I'm number 18 on the list :-)

I figured most people would go for the creepy/suspenseful-type story, so I tried to be different (and perhaps that's what others will try too, and then none of us will have creepiness/suspensefulness! <--- not a word, I know. Don't hate me.)
And I haven't written past tense in so long I feel like I've forgotten how to do it! Had to fix up several tense mix-ups. Hope I got them all!

69 comments:

Elodie said...

Awww! This is ADORABLE :D Very well done!

Jess said...

Oh that's so romantic!!! I love it!! Great job!!

Humpty Dumpty said...

Sweet scene! I love the way she brandished her torch 'like a light saber'! :)

Abhishek Boinapalli said...

Wow!!

That is quite sweet a scene!! Quite romantic indeed!!

I thought everyone makes scary stories out of the given prompt!!

This is so good!!

Hope you meet you on
Another Author

Morgan said...

Girl, loooooved it. You SO have skills. I love being connected with talented people. "Liked." ;)

Jaye Viner said...

Very nicely done. The opening was one of the best I've seen so far concerning word choice.

David P. King said...

Whoa! A bit of fantasy with a little romance. Although the guy seems like he's been around. Nice one! :)

Lori M. Lee said...

This is so sweet! I loved the exchange between them :D

Colene Murphy said...

OH! I love that. I love the shadow creatures and the lovey-ness!

YelenaC said...

Absolutely loved it! So much going on in so few words!

Carolin said...

Awwww! I love it. :D Yay kissing!

Tara Tyler said...

still a little creepy, but a spunky, sweet ending. like good salsa!

Stella Atrium said...

She slipped, huh? I believe that, truly I do (LOL). Fun story.

Carrie Butler said...

Hah! “You know, I think that’s the first time a girl has jumped off my veranda when I’ve tried to kiss her.” Love it! :D

Voting for you. :)

Melanie Stanford said...

Good job. Like you, I didn't want to go the creepy route. Most people did though from what I've read so far.

Lady Gwen said...

Loved the feistiness and the simile with the torch/lightsaber. And the romantic tension - aiyiyi!

Becky said...

That was fun, and different! I voted for you :)

Brenna Braaten said...

Hi there! Campaigner finally getting to making my rounds.

I loved this!! Ever other one I've read so far was a little on the darker or depressing side, so this was just awesome. I instantly have a sense of character and wit with just 200 words. So nicely done.

The Golden Eagle said...

I love the dialogue between them. :) Great entry!

J.C. Martin said...

Love how it all started with shadow creatures but ended with a romantic kiss!

Ann Cory said...

I enjoyed this, great dialogue and good natural voice. Well done!

Kevin Hiatt said...

So smooth, and I love fantasy writing with good dialogue. Great job, +1 follower. :)

Lynda R Young said...

Aw, nice job. I love that you made it a little different.

Betsy Love said...

I LOVE it! I want to know more about the "shades". I like the lighter feeling to it. Well done.
**waves from the campaign**

J.L. Campbell said...

Interesting and I like the scary creatures scuttling back from whence they came, not to mention the romance angle.

JEFritz said...

Very sweet and romantic. I like how she goes after the shades with a light. Take that, monsters!

Cally Jackson said...

Cool scene, Rachel! And so quick! Love the word 'Shades' in this context. Lots of fun! :-)

Amber Clites said...

Fellow campaigner stopping by, I just had to tell you that I loved your story! Wish it were longer!

Komal said...

I loved this! I enjoyed the little bit of world building thrown in with some romance. I'm voting for you!

Rachel Morgan said...

Thanks for all the comment love, guys :-)

Margo Kelly said...

This is definitely one of my favorites! Nicely done!

Mina Burrows said...

I loved this one. Adored the playful setting & tone. Great job.

Ainsley Shay said...

Great story! Loved the shadow-beings!

Erin Shakespear said...

Fun! Love the twist (and, yep...I went for the suspenseful thing :)

Great job!

Laurie Dennison said...

I loved the ending! Very nice job!

authorjenniferchase.com said...

Romantic! Love it -- well done :)

AveryMarsh said...

I love how she chased the pestering shadows away and focused on what was really important. ;) And that last line? *swoon* More please.

bridgetstraub.com said...

I don't really understand who the shadows are but I really like the connection of the characters and want to read more.

cbwentworth said...

Nicely done! I loved the reference to a lightsaber . . .that made the whole piece for me!

Sherri Lackey said...

Nicely done! I wonder what the shadow things are that she alone is not afraid of.

Charmaine Clancy said...

Very romantic.
#83

Siv Maria said...

Shades, what a wonderful name for shadow creatures..."The shadow-beings squealed in terror and scurried back to their antique jar on the mantelpiece." I want to know more about them. Great job and very well written, past tense and all.

Liza said...

Intriguing. Loved how you moved from the "shades" to the romance. Great job. I'm number 112.

Angela M. said...

Loved the Shades! They sound kind of cute, and I think I want some of my own, lol. I love how you used the "everything faded" ending, too. Very creative!

Cherie Reich said...

Aww! I loved it! :D

Stuart Nager said...

The Shades sound like a fun group to write about, and why he has them around. Liked it.

Tale Spinning: Wednesday's Child

Lori Ann Freeland said...

Loved it!

alexia said...

Nice job! We went in the same direction as far as shadow creatures.

Nancy Thompson said...

It IS different from most everyone else's. I like it.

I'm a new follower and entry #96

Jessica Therrien said...

One of my favorites so far, of course! Can't wait for the release of Guardian!!

Gwen said...

Oh, I love this world. Shades sound so cool. And your FMC is so strong!


#109

digillette said...

Awww, this is so sweet! I love it!

Melanie Fowler said...

This story was great! I loved how you were still able to create an image personality for your characters in such a short amount of words. Great job!

Traci Kenworth said...

I like that you went different with this, it turned out great!!

Marieke said...

This is so cute! Love it! :)

Kerri Cuev said...

I likey, likey, like it! Great job!

Vicki Orians said...

Wow - this was great! :) I loved it! Wish I could read more!

Nick Wilford said...

Cute little scene. You had an element of creepiness in there with the shadow beings, then it changed tack nicely. I'm not really used to reading YA, so it's nice to read something different!

Sarah Pearson said...

A bit late, but I made it. This was lovely, I thought at first it was going to be another dark piece, but you zapped me :-)

Miranda Hardy said...

That's a very sweet story and intriguing with the shadow people. Great job!

Carrie said...

I loved the happy ending. Very sweet.

Cynthia said...

What a nice sweet ending!

Cortney Pearson said...

Ohhh, swoon! I LOVED this one! Sooo good, I wish there was more so I could read on! Nice!!! :D

Melissa said...

Wow! Very good!!!!!
You get my vote. = )

Melissa Maygrove
#149 on the Campaign Challenge list

Daisy Carter said...

So good - I'm intrigued by the Shades, and who doesn't love a husky voiced boy to kiss? Great job!

theaccidentalnovelist said...

Fun. Makes me want to find out more about them.

Fellow campaigner stopping in to say hello.

C.M.Brown said...

Sweet tale! Like the romance!

Claire Hennessy said...

Ahh got me! Thought it was going to be creepy shadow monster story and it turned out all gushy. Love a bit of romance :)

Jocelyn Rish said...

So much fun!! I love the lighthearted humor and of course the swoon-y romance at the end. It sounds like you wrote this just for the challenge, but I'd love to see this as a longer piece too.